Friday, November 4, 2011

Under the weather

Today, I am sick. I got the girls ready for school, and put them on their buses. I couldn't listen to them for a minute more. Charlotte was detailing to me, how her teacher rearranged their desks yesterday, and her desk is now right by the door. She went on and on and on, and at one point, I just wanted to put my hands over my ears.

David has been working a lot of overtime. Thankfully, it is available. But he does not come home until 8:00 at night, and by that time, I am so done. Constant round the clock childcare with no break can make me just plain mean. The day is an endless cycle of laundry, and emptying and reloading the dishwasher, and cleaning, and vacuuming, and making meals, and shopping for meals, and cleaning up from meals.

Getting the girls up, dressed and fed and to the bus stop, and helping with homework, and making dinner, hustling them all into the shower. It doesn't end. I have been falling into bed at night. And then, Molly is right there next to me. She sleeps with us (not by choice) and there is no escaping her demands through the night. The meat sauce I made last night for dinner made her thirsty. She woke me up continuously through the night for water.

I tried to lie down before, and actually drifted off for a bit. But Molly was watching TV, and she gets scared if I have my eyes closed, so she kept coming over and shaking me. So, I am now seated, and typing. Trying to keep my eyes open. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. I feel terribly guilty, and unproductive knowing how many chores and work I am ignoring at this moment, and how beautiful it is out. The breakfast dishes are still in the sink, and it is nearly noon. I have given Molly half a sleeve of graham crackers just to keep her off my back. She has a full diaper of last nights water. And we are both still in our PJ's.

 I so wish it was raining out.

Bad Mom.

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