Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The party is over

Dear Middle Class,

They figured us out!

 Our days in the sun are numbered. They realized that we are all a bunch of lazy good for nothings trying to milk the system. We thought it would last forever, but alas, we are all being brought to task. Our days of lying on the couch, flinging Cheetos into our mouths and thumbing our noses at responsibility are coming to an end.

 I mean, the whole economy tanking/bailout/layoff/world wide crisis/ thingy clearly is all coincidental, and the job loss, and massive amounts of people unemployed all chose this. They know! They figured it out.  The economy took a nose dive, and at that very moment, we all saw our in. We saw that it was our time to shine, and do nothing. We saw that we had a small window of opportunity to play victims.

I gotta say, I am so disappointed about this discovery. I was really enjoying clipping coupons to make my small monthly food budget stretch even further, for my family of five. I was  liking being alone most of the time because my husband was  enjoying the 60-70 hour work weeks he was trying to put in just to try and make a fraction of what he was 4 years ago. The wage freeze we are experiencing coupled with an increase in our health insurance really was the cherry on the sundae. My hubby loves working harder than ever, for less than ever. And my house being in foreclosure...I can't tell you how that makes me chuckle. We love lying in bed at night, laughing at how we are just barely getting by, and doing nothing about it.  

But heck...I have health insurance! If you are on Medicaid, you really worked the system, so kudos to you! I mean, the fact that they only figured out what a bunch of useless schleps we all are, only now, is beyond me. What about our kids? We certainly got them in under the radar, what with the record amounts of students eating free lunch at school because their families are just too darn comfy of the couch, looking for handouts. Why bother getting a job? Free money is better, right? I mean, this has been one, long, delightful ride, wouldn't you all agree? I was hoping it would last longer.

Never mind the massive lines I see every week when I drive by Stroudsburg Wesleyan Church, when it is their food pantry night. Those people are just pocketing all that loot they would have spent on Juicy Juice, and macaroni and cheese, and probably going out to Red Robin as soon as they pick up their freebies. Not working, and sticking your hand out is way better, don't ya think?

Michelle Bachmann said it. She actually said it the other day. At a speech at the Family Research Council in Washington, Michelle Bachmann vowed to weaken programs such as Social Security, Medicare, food stamps, and unemployment benefits. She said these words..."Our nation needs to stop doing for people what they can and should do for themselves. Self reliance means, if anyone will not work, neither should he eat".

So get your lazy, no good butts up off your Barcaloungers, and get out there, and grab all those jobs. Get going!

The jig is up.


  1. Wow. Well stated. As you can see, I am slowly working my way through your posts :-)

    For a couple of years I felt so bad about our situation, we must have deserved it, we made bad decisions, right? Finally, I realized that no one wants to hire a 60 year old man. If you lose your job at that age, it is over. It is not our fault. At the same time, we have moved on. We have a home (ours went the way yours did), and we have food. I am warm adn dry, we are happy.

    Thank you for writing this.

  2. Bachmann should return the hundreds of thousands in farm subsidies she received. Except I guess in her mind that doesn't count. Hypocrite!

    P.S. Found you through your column in the Pocono Record.