Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Special dinner

My Dad sent us $250.00 dollars the other day. There was a note attached to it. It read "Buy some steaks, and a bottle of fine wine, and ice cream for the kids, and Enjoy". My Dad knows that money around here is lacking, severely. His kindness makes me smile. A lovely dinner would be wonderful, and I will tell him it was, but really, I will be thanking him for making our car insurance payment.
Today, I will go to Target. I have nothing to wear to my Aunt Helen's wake and funeral. I never spend money on myself. I never buy clothes. Funny that for a time, a long while ago, I used to buy myself clothes almost everyday. If something caught my eye in a magazine, or a store window, I would just get it. Today, I will scour the clearance racks, and hope that all of summer has not been erased from Target. Back to school, and Fall items are everywhere. I will either get the deal of a lifetime today, of I will be wearing something warm for the mass. I hate to be stressed about making this purchase, and the gas we will need to fill the tank of the car to get to and return home from the funeral. I hate to always, with every move, and thing that I do, have to always take money into consideration. I got stressed the other day when David walked in the door with Sun Chips for the girls. It was a treat. I never buy them, even as they beg for them in the store. I see the $3.79 price stamped on them, and walk away. I hated yesterday, when my girls asked when we were going to the amusement park. We went last year, and the year before. Of course they would think that we are going again. It is an annual event, in their short lives. I hated thinking that between gas, and tickets, and food...it wasn't gonna happen. The small little perks and fun stuff of being a child, I cannot provide them with. It costs too much.
Now I must go to Target, and find my cheap funeral attire. Thanks Dad for the insurance payment, and the lovely new outfit. It was delicious.

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