Monday, August 2, 2010


I logged onto my blog this morning. As my ancient computer was "warming up", and I waited for it to come up, I thought to myself, "why am I writing this?". It seems that no one reads it. I know one friend that I have allowed to read it, does. My husband does. I think that's it. I like to write it, don't get me wrong, but a blog is a public forum, and I wondered from the day I began this, "who will read this"?. My husband and I have come to use this as some odd form of communication. Like how we argue in text now, so each can have the floor for a moment. Texts, and blogs. This is how we talk? Can this be what we are reduced to? Feelings and intimate thoughts put out into a world for anyone to see? I have yet to tell any of my friends or family about my blog. Myself and David feel ashamed at how bad our finances are, so, although I would love people close to me to read this, and appreciate it for what it is, I don't want them to feel sorry for me, and I don't want our family to become something that people pity. Pity is something we don't need around here. We provide enough of that for ourselves.
When the hamsters warmed up, and the computer began to whir, and the blog finally came up, I had a comment. I could not believe my eyes!! It is exciting. I got one before. From my friend who is allowed to read this. And that was exciting because it was my first. But this was different. This was from a stranger. A complete stranger. Someone read what I had to say, and actually took the time to say a little something back. A pat on the back, from someone "out there". I can't tell you how happy little things make me, and this was one of those times. It feels nice that my rants, and complaints and anxietys were of some kind of interest to someone out there. I can hardly stand to listen to myself most days.I read something recently that our entire existence is based upon our ability to treat one another. How good we are to one another. It is true. To be considerate, or even empathetic can be such a grand gesture.
So Julie, I thank you. I raise my coffee cup to you this morning, and thank you. All the negative, depressing stuff I was going to whine about this morning, has been replaced with a feeling of positivity. It is Monday morning, and anything is possible.
We'll see if this feeling lasts the day....


  1. I've read you. And I too, haven't really told anyone about my blog yet....I'm not sure why. So, I will if you will.

  2. I read your blog. It is beautiful. It conjures up such nice images. You should tell people about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Not so sure if I can reveal my true self to friends and family. I prefer to hide behind smoke and mirrors for now.

  3. That's my go-to phrase, "hiding behind smoke and mirrors". I guess I haven't told anyone because I just haven't figured out where I'm going with it or what I'm going to do when I grow up.
    Thanks for the compliments though.

  4. I too, wonder what I will do when I grow up.