1st day

1st day of school. Charlotte began kindergarten today. Olivia started 2nd grade. They just left a little while ago. Together on the bus. I thought I would jump for joy, but my heart began to beat fast, and I wanted to go on the bus, and take them both off of it, and go home, and just get in bed with them. I want to hide with them, under the blankets, and keep them little. It is both a moment filled with pride, and disbelief, and amazement. Small beings, removed from my body, walking and talking, and yelling, and being rude, and cracking jokes. I am amazed how one simple act can lead to human beings. It seems that there should be more steps involved. Certain movements, when the moon is full, during special times of the year, followed by chants, or dances...something other than the simple act that leads to these creatures. These beautiful, ever changing people.
My house is so quiet. I have Molly here with me. She is still so little, but even that is changing quickly. My life, I realize, right at this very moment, is changed forever. My time with Charlotte being home with me is over. I was sad when Olivia started Kindergarten, but I believed that when Charlotte did the same, I would be happy. We have issues, she and I. We don't get along so well most of the time. Tender moments between us are few. It makes me sad, but if she did not resemble David so much, I would believe I was given the wrong child at the hospital. She has nothing of mine that I have been able to see. Yet I sit here, and I feel so nervous for her. I feel worried for the day that lays ahead for her, and her ability to handle it.
I feel nervous for the new day that lays ahead for me, and the new life I will have, that just started an hour ago, and my ability to handle it.
Ever changing.