I have been trying to wrap my head around what appears to be on the horizon for my family. News given to me this week. All my plans, and positive thinking have been covered with this cloud that has moved over me. Over us. I wish I could adapt. I wish I could buck up sometimes. I just want to lay down, and bury my head in the sand today. I can't even listen to the girls the last two days. They are like small mosquitoes, swirling around my ears. I just want it to be quiet, and still, so I can think, and rearrange my plans. I need to think about the person that I now have to morph into, rather than the one I am feeling like.
I want to be the good Mom. The happy one. Not the one with the water running out of the kitchen faucet, staring out the window, blankly, into nothingness.