Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Labor Day

Labor Day weekend was really nice. The weather was really beautiful. We took the girls to a birthday party on Saturday, at the roller rink. I love watching them at parties, enjoying being just kids. Eating cake, falling down on their skates. It makes me happy. We went to a festival in our little town after that. The streets were packed. Music played, and we ate cotton candy. It was a great day. Definitely attitude problems from my somewhat spoiled girls, begging for everything they saw, and being told no, but a really happy, family day.
David cooked dinner that night, and we stayed up too late, and had too many glasses of wine, and we laughed, and sat outside on our deck, in the breezy, magical night. I was happy. I went to bed, with hair smelling like a sheet dried on a clothesline.
Sunday was another good day. We relaxed, and went to the store to buy some junk food for the girls. Olivia was having her friend sleep over, and the girls were so excited. I made me feel giddy to see them so smiley. Like I was doing a good job for a few days in a row, and not yelling so much. The sleepover went well. Giggly girls running around the house. I even kept my slight annoyance at having a kid who was not mine, in my house, in check.
Labor Day was a morning filled with coffee. An easy morning. A day before us, with nothing to do. We went to do our laundry. Not exciting, but necessary. We picked it up wet, to bring it home, to dry outside, to save on money, and time. We decided to pick up some lunch. We decided to just take a drive. We were driving along, talking, and I noticed a car stopped, waiting for us to pass. I felt instantly that we were about to get into an accident. I knew it was about to happen. And then all of a sudden, there was the car, right in front of us. I could see the pretty blond haired girl, and the look of fright, right before me. And then there was impact. A giant, terrible sound, and motion. We kept moving. I closed my eyes. I shrieked. I heard the baby scream. And then we stopped. David was cursing, and screaming. I looked, and the girls were terrified. Everyone was ok. David pulled the crippled car out of the roadway. He got out, and I heard him talking to the girl, in a calmer voice. The girls were crying. I felt like I was shaking internally. David walked back to the car, and staggered, and suddenly felt ill. He had hit his head. He couldn't see straight. He needed an ambulance. I wanted to cry. I wanted to put my face in my hands and weep. David cried. It was too much. We endure a lot, and a lot of what we put up with has become normal to us. This was too much. Why my family? Why another hurdle for us? Have I or David done something so terrible in our life, and this is payback?
The ambulance came, David was taken away. The girls wept. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I had to take care of all of us. David looked  at me before he left, and told me to buck up for the kids. He was right. I had to act ok. I had to be strong. I smiled at the girls, through my horror, and said I was here, and was going to take care of them, and everything was ok. They looked like they believed me.
David is ok. Bad concussion. Today, we are both sore. We don't have money to cover the deductible on our insurance. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I laughed about it last night. What more can I do. We are all breathing, limbs intact. No one is hurt. I am thankful for this.
My spirit is low.
The sun is vibrant this morning. The light is breathtaking. The breeze is cool. You can smell fall approaching.   

1 comment:

  1. love you so much Erin. thanks for inviting me to read and know and be with you more on your daily journey.
    this entry has my heart in my throat. I read on, sending you love.