Wednesday, October 12, 2011


My mother and father came for a visit this past weekend. And at their insistence, they made us go out on a date, and they paid for it. I don't like the fact that my parents are paying for an evening out for us. At our age, I would like to have the ability to be able to do that for ourselves. I also felt guilty taking money, and being so frivolous with it, when I know how many dinners, or packages of diapers could be purchased with the money. But David and I have not had a date in years. Years. And for once, we wanted to feel normal, so we went ahead and stepped out for a few hours. Truth be told, my parents didn't give us the option to back out.

And it was worth every mis-spent cent. It truly was. Financially, going out as a family is not an option, let alone just the two of us. Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months, and sometimes, before you know it, years have passed, and daily life with all of it's repetition, and, let's face it, some days, monotony, really can get between a married couple. It almost makes you forget what it used to be like, when things were easy. When things weren't as complex as they seem to be now.

Some days, I feel like David and I are living as room mates. Tired at the end of the day, and in a rush to just put an X on the calendar, rushing to get the girls in bed, and just call it a night. Going out the other night was freeing. Even being in the car, just the two of us, felt odd. I kept glancing into the back seat, and seeing three car seats squished together, and it would startle me that no one was seated in them. Sitting and talking uninterrupted felt so strange. To actually complete a sentence without being interrupted 7 times was magical. To be able to  finish a thought never happens around here. It almost made me feel nervous. Like if we didn't talk about money stress, or the old "what do you think is going to happen to us in the next year" conversation, or mention the girls, we would run out of things to talk about.

But we didn't. We talked. We laughed. We were goofy. I really let myself go, and just enjoy being alone with my husband. My partner in all of this muck, and stress, and utter joy of a life that we have created. I don't want to have worries eclipse our day to day happiness. I don't want stress to wear away the strong foundation of our life. A life that we knew was going to have it's ups and downs, although I really hadn't anticipated on quite so many, but a good life nonetheless. A happy life. One that has far exceeded my expectations.

I read something the other day, by a writer, named Nell Casey. She was talking about housecleaning. The drudgery of constant straightening, and tidying. She wrote "These acts do not keep me happy. They keep me in a permanent hover around my house, continually preparing to live rather than actually doing it".

Like I said, best money ever mis-spent.

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