I have been driving around, only when necessary, with no front brakes. I literally grind to a halt. Even the baby asks "what that noise"? every time I stop the car. Ugh...another expense. Another bill that won't be paid, as the car takes priority.
Playing this juggling game each month, or "creative financing", as I like to call it, has ceased to be stressful. It has become the only way to get the bills paid. It has become normal. They all do get paid, eventually, but it always seems to be at the 11th hour, which drives me crazy. Shut off notices from the electric company, and water have become a regular occurrence. Some days, I keep my fingers crossed just pulling in the driveway, that there won't be the familiar little hang tag dangling from my front door knob alerting us that within 72 hours, our water will be shut off. I breath a sigh of relief each time that there isn't one.
Halloween can even be maddening. It is an expense that we have always tried to keep to a minimum. But my girls really have some grandiose ideas regarding their costumes. Last year, Olivia wanted to be a rock star. Wouldn't you know that she went out trick or treating for less than half an hour? I wanted to yell, and tell her to get her butt back out there, and get my money's worth out of her costume. Thankfully, this year, she wants to be a hippie, and we made her costume out of clothes long forgotten about in the back of my closet.
And Christmas is looming. I saw a giant blow up Santa on Lowe's the other day. It sits above the entry way of the store, like a giant reminder. I haven't even gotten through trick or treating, yet the Christmas seed is firmly planted in my mind. Thank goodness Walmart is offering layaway. I feel relief knowing that I can make small payments on stuff for the girls. I just have to wait until next paycheck to begin, as the amount I will be required to put down initially is not in the budget this week. I so wish I could tell the girls that Santa got them brakes for the car, but I suppose they wouldn't be quite so excited.
And so, the balls are all in the air. The juggling of everyday life, and all of it's costs. I think today, I will just try and appreciate the spectacular show Autumn is putting on, sip my coffee, and be thankful that my garbage is gone.
It's the little things.