Good

Last night, we watched "Meet me in St. Louis" with the girls. I had never seen it. David loves old movies, especially black and white ones. I am embarrassed to say that I don't have a lot of patience for black and white movies. My favorite part of the "Wizard of Oz" is when Dorothy opens up the front door of her house, and she is in Munchkinland. The color part starts, and that is when the movie begins for me. David adores old movies, and sometimes, on Saturday mornings, he and Olivia get up early together, and watch them. He has passed on this love for them, to her. Luckily, "Meet me in St. Louis" is in color.

Older movies take a while for me to get into, simply because of the proper way they speak. The way they pronounce everything. No one speaks like that anymore. I can't quite put my finger on what the "accent" is. Uptight, maybe. But the longer I watched the movie last night, the more I liked it. Judy Garland, was never beautiful to me. Sort of odd looking. I kept staring at her hands, and her lips, and her gigantic eyes. She to me, is so tragic. She plays such happy women, on screen. She was such a tortured person.

The scene at the end of the movie, when she sings "Have yourself a merry little Christmas", made me get a lump in my throat. I looked at David, and he had tears in his eyes. I feel like we are just raw with emotion lately, and everything that is slightly touching, or sad, makes waves of emotion come out of us.

I watched a story the other morning on the Today show. It blew me away. It was about this really good looking college football player. He wanted to be a lawyer, and eventually a judge. He played baseball as well as football, his whole life. He got into a fight with some strangers, on a street. He and his friends were jumped. Witnesses said that these men kicked his head so many times, it looked like they were punting a football.

He is in a coma. He has been for over a year now. His mother and father are his full time caretakers. They have dedicated their life to taking care of their son. He lives in what was once their living room. It looks like a hospital room now. From morning til night, and through the night, they are his nurses, and physical therapists. They administer medication to him. They talk to him all day. His father watches football with him, and reads the newspaper to him. They never leave his side.

They interviewed the parents, and they were asked how they felt about what had happened to their son, who was filled with so much promise. The father looked so sad. He said that he hates what those boys did to his son. If they had just given him the opportunity to shake their hands, and introduce himself to them, they would have known what a good person he was, and that he was not a violent man. His mother was asked why they take care of him, the way they do. She said that she couldn't imagine her life without her baby boy.

This Christmas, in one of the most difficult periods in my family's small history together, has been stressful, and difficult, to say the least. It has been filled with anxiety, and sadness. But, it has been filled with miracles. People have extended such kindness and generosity to my children, and David and I. It has removed the dread I went into this holiday season with, and made it into one of the most beautiful, wonderful Christmas' I have ever experienced. I am thankful for all that we have. I am blessed to have this life. I am privileged not to know tragedy. I have healthy children. I have a husband that, despite all of my flaws, adores me. I have old friends and new ones that enrich my life. I have a supportive family. I am rich in so many ways.

I know this post is a bit rambling. I sit and type, and never have a plan. Some days it makes sense to me. Some days, it is all a bit fractured. I suppose what I am trying to say is that the family of that young, beautiful, man ought to have some of the blessings that I have undeservedly received.

They deserve to have a Merry Christmas.

I hope sooner than later, David and I can repay the kindnesses we have received.

Sometimes, all you hear about is the bad out there, and it sours you. Sometimes, you can fall into really feeling sorry for yourself.

There is so much good stuff, when you finally look for it.

Sitting, looking at my beautiful family, watching our movie together last night, made me see it, crystal clear.

Right there, before me.

Merry Christmas, everyone.