Wednesday, July 27, 2011


In the late Winter/early Spring, my orchid, one that I had almost given up on too many times to count, bloomed in a way that it never has. In the past, maybe two flowers bloomed. Never more than that. But this past year, the orchid yielded over 10 beautiful light purple blossoms. They sparkled, and dazzled. I was obsessed with it, and took photo after photo of them. I felt like it was the universe throwing me a sign. I know that sounds crazy, but I look for quiet reassurances sometimes. Mostly from people. But when they can no longer let me know everything is going to be alright, I took my orchid's beautiful blooms as a signal of what might be coming. It seemed like hope, right up there on the shelf, beneath my kitchen window.

Facing foreclosure is scary. When I see a sheriff driving up my street, my chest tightens. I almost always stop what I am doing, and check the driveway, to see if this is indeed the day we are given notice of the sale of our home. Each time the phone rings, I jump. Maybe they call you first, I tell myself. Or maybe it will just be a scary letter in the mail. 

I started to feel OK, when we thought David was going to be deployed. This was answered prayers, and I was anxious to get on with it. Emotionally, I was scared, but when the orchid started to grow it's long green stem, and each day, more and more buds became visible, I thought that this was symbolic of what was taking place in my families life. What had always been a plant that sometimes blossomed, and sometimes, took a year or two off, was showing a side of itself I had never before seen. It had to be because my family was about to get out of our financial jam. This was it! Growth was taking place all around me!

The plans changed. And with that, went my hope. And ironically, the orchid, within the last week, looked thirsty. I gave it some water. In the last two days, every blossom has fallen off. There is but one, lonely bloom. The show is over. My sign from the universe...clearly read by me, as the end. For now.

But how silly of me to think that. How could an orchid signify the changes in my life. How can I be that kooky to look at it that way? I think the universe offers you little bits of hope in ways that are not so visible. Not as dazzling as an orchid, in all of it's intricacy.

I met an old friend of mine today. Our friendship ended over a year ago, over something stupid. She recently wrote to me, and I have to say, I have really missed her, and it made me happy. It took me by surprise. So we met today. And we talked. And we laughed. And we fell into it like no time had passed.

And when we parted, we hugged. And I felt it. Hope. 

It wasn't in the form of the sparkling, luminous petals, of the orchid that I tried so hard to get a glimpse of a brighter day from. It was a hug from an old friend. So quiet, but real.

 Really real.

1 comment:

  1. It's amazing what our friends can do for us.

    I am still just floored by all that Will has done for us. Even before I was laid off, we couldn't have afforded this sleepaway camp. He helped get us a full scholarship. And then gave us a mini-vaca. Who says you need a million bucks to live like you do? You just need friends.