Monday, January 24, 2011

Heat

10 below zero is what my thermometer read outside of my kitchen window. I hate this cold. It is unbearable. I will just stay home, and go no where. Too cold to drag Molly around. She hates cold wind blowing in her face.

But here, in the house, I feel stressed. The heat just goes. The compressor outside of the house won't stop running. It makes me so nervous. Sick to my stomach actually. I keep thinking about it, running and running. Nothing lasts forever. If it goes, we can't fix it. I am scared day and night about it. I just wish Spring was closer. I can't take the sound of the heat.

I feel uneasy today. Like something is wrong. I have that underlying feeling constantly, but today, it seems more pronounced. I feel scattered, and unsure of where to begin my day. Part of me wants to crawl back in bed. I don't want to paint. I don't want to take pictures today. I don't want to clean. I don't want to read. I am not doing a very good job even writing today, so I suppose, I will clean up from breakfast, and try not to hear the heat.

Running and running.

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