Yesterday, we just sat on the deck. All day. I literally had coffee, lunch, and finally came in from the fire at 10:00. It was beautiful. The weather was beyond dreamy.
Yet, I have that awful, panging stress hanging over me. When I want to be relaxing, I am tallying numbers in my head. There is so much more that needs to go out this month than is coming in, and I am scared. Really scared. I just don't know how we are going to do it. I really don't. I am used to it being like this. And normally, it is what it is. But this month has been just plain awful. I am home here, with limited gas, and even more limited food, and I am worrying about everything. My nails are bitten down to nothing. I am working on the cuticles currently.
Olivia is home from school today. Stomach pain, and fever. And there is rain. Gone is that really vibrant blue sky.