Wednesday, September 26, 2012

10 years

I knew David was different when he called me, shortly after we met, and asked if he could make me dinner. He picked me up, and brought me to his place, and I could see the effort he made. There was an appetizer, and wine. Flowers. And a pasta dinner, with a salad. He even attempted to bake focaccia, which really floored me. No one had ever cooked me dinner, let alone baked for me. Something had failed in the baking process, and I could see he seemed a little nervous by it, but I ate it, and loved it. I loved it all. I loved talking to him, and laughing with him. I loved hearing about his whole life, past imperfections and all, and was eager to share my own tales. I loved how I felt with him. I loved how good it all was.

Ten years ago, today, we got married. It rained so incredibly hard the day before the wedding. I had gone to bed listening to it come down, and accepted the fact that it wouldn't be sunny on our wedding day. I was perfectly OK with that. In fact, I didn't even care. I was just really excited to get to the church, and marry my best friend, and get this whole thing called our life together, started. As I walked our dog that morning, a cool breeze blew, and I looked up to the sky to see the gray clouds blow away, revealing a vibrant blue sky. I smiled, and I remember thinking that the sunny day was just a bonus. What was about to happen that afternoon was already joyful to me. The sun was an unexpected perk.

Life literally went into fast forward from that day. On our one year anniversary, we sat here, in our newly purchased home, in our newly adopted state, with a very new baby girl in a bassinet in our bedroom, and marveled how year one had gone. And it didn't stop. One baby girl, became a big sister, two times, and ten years gone, just as quickly as those gray rain clouds blew out of sight on our wedding day, have presented so many blue skies here. So much abundant sunshine. And most definitely, our fair share of dark, stormy days.

 Some days have been down right scary. Like the day we lost baby number two. And the day David came home with a six pack of beer, a final paycheck, and tears in his eyes, standing at the front door, telling me he got laid off. That very moment was life changing. I wanted to run, and hide. I wanted to pound on his chest, and scream. But I recall, like it was yesterday, having a split second of clarity and hearing a voice in my head tell me to just hug him. Just hug him, and tell him that we are gonna be OK. Even though I didn't believe it, I whispered those words in his ear, and held him tight.

We were OK. We are OK. Yes, getting served by the sheriff with foreclosure papers was not a great day. But right after we left the court house that afternoon, we went to Olivia's Halloween parade at her school. We watched the kids circle the building in their costumes. We held hands, without speaking.  I remember thinking how scared I was at all of the uncertainty. All the stress of trying to be parents, and provide just the bare necessities to these amazing beings overwhelmed me, in that moment.

 But we are here. Together. 10 years strong.

And getting stronger, everyday.

Our future is as blindingly bright as the sun. I love you David.

 Happy Aniversary.


1 comment:

  1. wow! fron prada to nada..stick to the unwavering love something will come up.