Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Bad dream

So....dinner was served last night, thanks to Olivia's piggy bank. I felt awful doing it, but what choice did I have?

I went to bed feeling worried and stressed, and I wound up having an awful night's sleep. I am worrying about everything.

I had a dream about Molly. She was a baby. So little. She fell into the deep end of a pool. I watched her go under, and disappear. I dove in, and got her, and brought her to the surface, and she was OK. But I snapped out of my sleep, and my heart was beating so fast, I felt the bed moving from it.

I reached over, and David wasn't there. He was on the couch. He must have gotten up shortly after we went to bed. It made me feel alone. The house was so still. I lay there, feeling my heart beating, and when I turned on my side, my ear pressed into the pillow, and I could hear my blood rushing with each beat.

Today I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt drugged. I just couldn't open my eyes. It seems so much easier to sleep.





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