Shortly after our wedding, we were delighted to learn I was expecting. It was such an amazing time. After planning a wedding for a year, getting married, and still sending out thank you notes, suddenly, I was planning again. This time,for a baby. I couldn't believe it had all happened to me, and how sickeningly happy I was about all of it.
I saw this house on line, and knew that this was our home, with every inch of my being. Even after we found out that it had gone to contract with someone else, I refused to believe that anyone but us could live in it. I even purchased things for the bathroom that I had seen at a Pottery Barn outlet, and David thought I was in high pregnancy lunacy mode. He kept saying," we lost the house". "There will be another one". But I knew that this was my home.
The phone rang one morning, and I saw that it was the realtor's number. I handed the phone to David, and before he even answered it, I said to him, "we got the house!" And we did. The deal fell through. And after that phone call, our life went into fast forward. Getting the mortgage was easy. I recall being scared because David and I had some student loan debt, and I thought that would hurt us. But there was never a bump in the road, and I always questioned that.
When we came up to close, I was so big and pregnant. I was nearly 8 months. We purchased a queen size bed for $200.00. A most uncomfortable bed, but I thought it would be temporary. (9 years later...and many sore backs, we are still "sleeping" on it.) We put it into a U-Haul, along with wedding gifts. I remember thinking where I was going to put my glasses, and all my new flatware. I couldn't wait to put my new plates and bowls in my new cabinets. It was like walking through a dream. A wonderful, little bit scary, dream.
When we signed the last piece of paper, and initialed the last document, the keys were slid across the table to us. David and I looked at each other, and took a deep breath. I never felt so grown up. Poised to have my first child, and now a proper home to put her in. I felt we were on the right track, and things could never do anything but do as they were. Getting better.
And really, this life of ours has gone so great. And I love where it is going. All the uncertainty aside, and our home now in a state of being taken away from us....after so much work, some days breaks my heart. But yesterday, as I returned home from the bus stop, I smelled the early Spring air, and listened to the newly returning birds, and took note of the daffodils peeking up though the leaves as they have done for 9 years and probably more now, I felt a gush of hope.
I felt that same excitement that I did 9 years ago, when everything was so new. When the road that lay before us seemed filled with endless possibilities.
It still is.