Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rest

Yesterday, David came home from his second day of working overtime for the week, which is a 12 hour day. He promised to paint Olivia's bedroom by her 7th birthday, which is tomorrow. He works very hard. Some weeks, actually, all but a few weeks, he works 60 hours a week. I know he just wants to come home, and rest. I knew, the last thing he wanted to do last night, at 7 p.m., was to paint an entire bedroom. But a promise is a promise, and he would not let his little girl down. He worked, in the awful heat, in the tiny room, with the door closed, so the girls would not get the fumes, until almost 11 p.m. He then showered, and went to bed, without dinner. He got up again this morning, at quater to five, only to work another twelve hour day. Tomorrow is Olivia's birthday campout. We are having 4 little girls come here, and sleep in an 8 man tent, in our living room. This means tonight, at 7 p.m., he will come home, and assemble a giant tent, and most likely, rearrange furniture to make it fit. And it is going to be another 90 degree day. He is a wonderful father. Truely, a gift to these girls, as they are to us.
Rest is something that does not come easy here. David is constantly working, and I too feel incredibly tired from 24/7 child care. The baby nurses relentlessly, and Charlotte is, well....Charlotte, and that requires a lot. Olivia is pretty self sufficient, yet she too requires my care, of course. House work, trips to the store, cleaning, trips to the laundromat, shuttling kids to and from their various things. Rest is hard to come by here. I yearn for it some days. Dream about it. I know I am not alone. I pass by home after home each day. I see empty hammocks. Empty front porches. Patio sets getting no use. Benches lovingly placed under shade trees, with no one being shaded. We are all consumed by our daily life, and the struggle to get through our day, the rest part is the least important part of our life. I know for me, it makes me cranky, and resentful. I too, have a deck, with a pretty "conversation area" as I like to call it. When we purchased it, with former President Bush's stimulus money, I envisioned long summer nights, gathered around the outdoor fireplace, with flickering candlelight, and outdoor lights. It happened. A few times. Just not as much as I thought it would.
I am vowing to rest this summer. I am vowing, that my family is going to put our stress aside, and be a family, and sit in our conversation area. We are going to have conversations until late in the night. We need to take this minute little speck of time, while our little girls still want to talk to us and we are going to enjoy it all. We are going to do this, because if we don't, we will never be able to back and do it over. It will be gone. We will have a quiet home, and time to rest and reflect upon all the time we didn't take the time to do it, and just let ourselves be free.
Just for a little while.

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