But now I feel gagged. I feel the words that once felt so good to put down on the virtual page, have been read. My safe place has become almost a place that I avoid. The words are all still there. Stabbing my finger tips like a million little pin pricks. Dying to get out of my over crowded head, and away from my heavy heart.
I would tell you how bad things seem to me right now, if I could. I would tell you how terribly down, and worried I feel, but I can't. I would explain to you that what I have and what I want are so very far apart from one another, it seems they will never join forces. I would tell you how very hard we have worked to get absolutely no where, and the frustration that has become all consuming, but I can't reveal the nitty gritty of it.
I so want to, but then my phone rings, or the lady at the supermarket questions me, and I just don't want anyone to really know how terribly badly I am failing right now.
Because I know I am. And I don't want it pointed out to me.
I know I am.