Monday, November 5, 2012


I just got back from the bus stop. The girls are gone. Off to school. We had all of last week together, due to Sandy. I am still trying to get over it. Lot's of not so proud moments. I hate how incredibly impatient I am, and how short my fuse is. I was really mean quite a few times. I seriously could not listen to them a second longer. Fighting, boredom, it all got to us.

When we could see our breath in the house, we left. My parents paid for a hotel room for us for the night. Getting the girls settled in a warm bed as they drifted off to sleep to the television was nice. I just felt bad that it was my parents who were able to provide the relief for us, and not us.

I was trapped in the house all last week, with no cable, Internet, and my wireless was spotty at best. I really had no idea what the extent of the storm damage was and seeing all of the photos these last few days has just been horrifying. We watched a movie with the girls last night, under comfy blankets in a warm house, and it didn't escape me how very blessed we were and are. I couldn't imagine the suffering people are experiencing right now. Homes and possessions gone. Lives lost. It is gut wrenching to think about. It makes me realize how Mother Nature always wins, and how very tiny we are.

Each time I turn a light on to enter a room, or turn the heat up because the girls feel chilly, or have the luxury of a hot shower, and a warm meal, the randomness of it all hasn't escaped me. If anything, it makes me that much more aware of the fragility of life, and family, and friends.

Molly burrowed so deep into me during the storm. She had herself deep under the blankets, in bed, balled up and curled into me. Each time the wind would gust, she tensed up, and tried to get further into me. I stroked her tiny soft feet, and her teeny tiny toes, and smelled her hair. I listened to the girls snore on the floor beneath me, all crammed into Olivia's bedroom, the most insulated, interior room of our house. I was so scared. And so were they. And trying not to show my own fear became a real challenge.

But we were spared. I watched them hop on the bus this morning, and thought that losing electricity for a few days was winning the randomness lottery.

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