Monday, September 22, 2008
Well, here I sit with my Dunkin Donuts coffee. It is Monday, and I have just put my 5 year old on the bus for Kindergarten. I am home with Charlotte, my 3 year old. I have mounds of laundry to do, I need to unload the dishwasher, and reload it, figure out what to make for dinner tonight, and clean the entire house, after a busy weekend. I have a mental check list of the chores that I feel compelled to do everyday, so the houseis acceptably clean. DON'T LOOK UNDER THE COUCH, however, as there are large dust bunnies, and I can't see them, so they do not bother me. I might try to take a shower at some point, but it does not always fit in, and half the time I am way too lazy when I finally feel like I have a moment to myself. I am not sure where to begin writing about myself, or my life. I am unsure why I have the desire to. I don't want to sound like another complaining housewife, or yammer on and on about what aspects of my life would be different if I could wiggle my nose and change them. I don't really think I would change any of it, except for maybe possibly having a savings account, and an artist's studio for myself. And maybe looking like I did when I was around 24, because I was smokin. But that was then, and this is now. I make myself laugh sometimes because, I still have all of the designer clothes that I used to wear that are a size 4, hanging in my closet, and all of my beautiful expensive shoes that will never fit me again, after having two children. I hold onto purses that I paid almost as much as my mortgage payment for, and I have no use for them. I often feel when I am out and about, food shopping, or taking my children to school, or at the park, talking to other mother's, that they don't know who they are dealing with. I am simply not Olivia, and Charlotte's mom. I am more than a wife. I used to be fancy, and I used to go to expensive restaurants every night of the week. I don't miss that time, although it surely was amazing. I had the time of my life, and I could not be happier being a mom and wife, but DON"T BE FOOLED BY MY PAYLESS SHOES!!!! There is a pair of stiletto gold strappy sandals by Jimmy Choo in my closet, next to the turquoise heeled Gucci numbers, that are beside the most fabulous Prada boots imaginable. I wear many hats in my life currently, but I keep these shoes to remind myself of the many places that I have walked, and the miles I have traveled, and the person that I have morphed into, proudly. The selfish girl who carelessly spent her rent money on Sergio Rossi mules, has become the confidant woman clipping coupons and scrimping and saving in my clearance Target flip flops. I have walked more than a few miles in my Tod' moccasins, but I really love the path of my life now, and never thought I would find man made materials so fitting. Funny how your life changes. It takes you to many unexpected places.